Another Surgery Another Day...

I went to the pain management doc on Friday and he was his usual friendly-self, telling me I was his favorite patient despite my constant a pain and obstacles. I have to call him this morning and tell him about surgery next Monday so he can alter my pain meds appropriately.

So, then I went upstairs to the ENT/surgeon/partial oncologist to discuss the enlarging balloon or pumpkin face, whichever you like more. He was kinda dismissive and concerned but unsure what to do and said because of the welling he could not find anything but the major masses. He said to then come back when it goes down and I was kind enough to let him know that it is no longer shrinking it is only growing with each day. He is concerned to open me up because of all my pre-existing conditions and at my age he does not want to leave me with a full facial cut on the side. I just want answers and to get rid of this.

Finally he agreed to speak with a specialist at Mt. Sinai hospital in NYC who specializes in facial diseases and is a leader in developing new techniques. He created a new so my cut the scar will be an inch or two shorter but deeper - about 4 cm deep or more. Is my cheek area that big? I will have one side done and a the other at another time. Great a lop-sided face for a month or so! Once I get home it will be liquids for the first few days to couple of weeks and then soft foods and at the fourth week it will be regular food, hopefully. But hey, I need to lose a few pounds!

Hopefully postings will be up and maybe a pic of the nice cut. Not that I am vain or anything but I just don't want it, I am too young to be going through all of this!

Oh, and I woke up this morning to find two masses coming through the back of my throat, no wonder I am having a hard time speaking. Nice red lumps right next to each other and I guess I should tell him about those as well so he can pop them out while he is at it. Wait, did I mention the drain that will come out the back of my ear that need to be emptied twice a day until it reaches a certain number. This all pending I can come home and won't need a suction tube attached. The incision will be cleaned several times a day to prevent infection as well as antibiotics. This will be my seventh month in a row. Delightful!

So Monday, November 19th is my next date with the scalpel! Looking forward to it - NOT! Okay, I am having a hard time writing anything about this since fear seems to be overcoming me. One would think after this many surgeries and tests that this would be easy. But honestly I don't want a big scar on my face. not for vanity reasons but I don't need another reason to remember all I have and am going through. That and I hate the judgments and comments people already make about the weight and the limping or pain issues. I really wish people would learn some manners about how to treat a person who is sick - I mean really sick. I don't want pity and I don't want to be the only topic of conversation, just treated as normally as possible and not to have to beg for help when I need it. Oh wait, that would have required having friends that were true and stuck around for the hard parts. I forgive them, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

Oh well, enough fro this morning, I am tired and sore and have a few calls to make before my surgery.

Toodles!