Doc's Promises Broken One More Time

And people wonder why I get tired and frustrated...they find serious things wrong and do nothing they promise; the docs that is; well maybe not just them. We are talking the highly likely-hood that I have cancer not some sore throat due to hay being cut this time of year. As my part in pushing them, I sent every single doctor a fax of my symptoms and aliments that I have had the past three months or beginning since January so they can see the progression and possibly talk to each other and get moving since they are mostly in the same practice…

The fax shows the worsening symptoms and the MRI and other tests that corroborate the illnesses that they believe I have as well as some that they have not yet discussed since it is likely I have a lymphoma disease of one type or other – there are a lot of them so the problem lies in further testing to get a the right one diagnosed and treated. Besides the document will help with disability issues and now the review of my LTD (long-term disability) status – they may have made a mistake since they never paid me and I qualified for STD (short term disability). Fingers crossed since my test and treatments will not be covered and I need this money to pay for my care.

Anyway, if I do not hear tomorrow I plan on calling and pushing some more since I was promised to hear back. It does not help I can stop by since I also have a neurologist appointment.

I know the frustration and stress are not good for me but all these tests and lack of response when a disease is actually diagnosed (in the broad sense) is hard to not get frustrated about. Today I awoke with my head in the toilet for hours because they cannot pick up the phone to get Medicare to give me my medications to keep food in my body. Or the medications to control massive headaches due to the cervical and head tumors which are rapidly spreading according to my MRIs as well as those in my face and neck area. Today I have been very sick with a fever running all day and last night as well as an upset stomach and headaches.

Not only that but they are overbilling me and Medicare so I have to work with Medicare to file a fraud report, I am trying to put it off as long as possible but the due date is coming soon or it will not fly with the government. So I have that battle as well as I am being re-reviewed for long-term disability as they laws have changed.

Why people become docs and never care for patients except for our pockets is beyond me. Right now I can’t fight both battles and have no one to help me since my family is too far away and those who could help do not even speak to me and I am not married so my man cannot help me as my next of kin. Sadly the ones who can help are too far away and too poor to do much.

Ok enough of my rant on horrible docs who find diseases and tell you that you have cancer but don’t end up doing anything about it when they say how urgent it is – come on now I have had the tumor growth go from three tumors to an uncountable amount in my head and neck. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM? I am so tired of this fight and just want it to be over. I want to just have a vacation from my life, no illness, no docs, no bills, and no haunting calls asking for things when they do not take the time to understand my condition but only care about their pockets. I have been sick for four years people…not like the CANCER I am likely to have according to docs is an easy one and now will be classified as head and neck since it is spreading like butter.

Can someone please explain how a doc can tell you that you have cancer and then not call as promised this past weekend so I can get the follow up tests and surgery done as well as plan radiation and chemo or whatever we decide…see, I no longer trust them and plan on having a lot of say in my treatment. I am too damn young to do this all and just wish there were more of me…energy is drained and resources are slim.

Where are the docs and all those people who promised to help me? It’s no wonder I am sick on top of the tumors and lymph infections…just tell me where are all those people?

PS – Am I angry? Yes and no, more frustrated with promises not kept and the inability to do things for myself because I am so sick.