Bills, Frustrations, Illness, and Soaps

So many of you will laugh that I joined a soap chat board since everyone laughs that we can watch the sames stories every year. Well this year Guiding Light is doing an amazing job on brain trauma and I feel as though I am looking in a mirror and watching my life. Dinah, the character had the same jobs and same life as me doing PR and TV stuff and living a decent life...and we both got sick young. In looking for something to do and to educate people on brain surgery and things that happen to us that we don't discuss I joined as soon as I saw Gina T's storyline. She is kicking butt and taking people places they would otherwise never go...I cry watching her everyday since I see my struggle in her character and her realism is scary.

I get a ton of support from the posters and they thank me for my educating them and sharing such a person experience. Today there was a post about Dinah's condition and money woes...after much support on my mini posts I posted this...which is true and all happened today just when I was trying to stay positive and put things together and not be so damn poor and a burden any more...

Please don't cry, I do enough for all of us. (A response to a post from an earlier person)

Ironically today and since this post is relevant and about Dinah's money issue...I got a rejection of 15k dollars of medical bills when I only had 3k (from the previous tumors) left and finally felt like I could breath. I was gonna buy a new pair of shoes and a shirt and pants that fit so I could go out to eat and feel like the old me. Deep breathe. I was a working class American and even more ironically did similar jobs as Dinah (literally in her character she and I were the same - beautiful smart successful women in business doing PR and Television production and more). I was making fairly good money and living well but I was too young at the age of 29 (diagnosis)to have a ton saved. I know Dinah's character is a lil older (mid-thirties as I am now 33) but we don't think about those things about saving money in case we get serious illnesses and have a false security that insurance will take care of us. And that we will never have and accident or illness that may cost us not only our physical lives but our lives outside our body - you know what I mean. I went from a nice neighborhood to a run down place, I have not had new shoes, clothes or anything for the past few years and could barely afford meds and food. Those were good days and still are because of this recent bill rejection and appeals were also declined since my disease is rare. The only difference between Dinah and I are the reasons we had surgery but it was the same area, same jobs and life, and now we both have lost them. I feel like the writers are copying me and putting GT and SFG in the same role. Except mine is real. Anyway, I am a lil further along and am frustrated as specialists now say they can not or will not try even though others have succeeded with surgery. And because of my bills.

Next post...moderators please don't shoot me... (word limit reached)

Part two and I'll shut up...

Anyway, good news but more bills...just to make the point of the s/l...I have an alternative med doc checking me out tomorrow at 11 ET to fix my head so I have to tape the show. I hope they don't show her as I can't stand a day without my reflection staring back. Let's hope this doc helps. While he has agreed to reduce his fees I now have to pay cash up front and make myself a strong candidate for him to take the risk of me on due to the malpractice laws in this country...hopefully they address those as well.

So keep your fingers crossed I can get fixed so I can come off Social Security at the ripe old age of 33 and go back to work, should someone have me as I have been declined more than 55 jobs since January due to the background checks showing no work due to illness. I now need to find another career...I think I may take my skills and eventually start a foundation for financial aid to those with serious chronic medical conditions so they can have food, meds, and a roof and buy shoes more than once every few years.

So see, Dinah's story is real...you are reading her and you didn't even know it.

Moderators, I hope you keep this one post just to prove the point and I promise not to rant again about the impact TBI has on a patient who loses money, life and health. And themselves. I promise to behave in the future but this was so close to the current s/l and pros and cons I could not help it...slap on the wrist taken.

I get very little help and people forget that not only do Inot have my health but not my life or the life I had and who I was...all tat has changed including who I am.

I hope you read this and understand what has happened in my life and continues to change as more is discovered and things get more confusing with my health and my life. DO NOT judge me I ask nothing from anyone I just ask for you to think about your life and how you can change so this does not happen to you and I do not ask for help just for some understanding if life is not perfect for me everyday...

I recently moved in with my man cuz I luv him but also to help us breathe but this recent bill has me sick to my stomach and 15k more without my last hospital stay added I am terrified that my life will forever be changed and my old life lost forever. I'm scared...thank you to the soap peeps who support my plight and allow me to have input into the character of Dinah...you should just watch her once and it will change your life...she has an Emmy in my book...