Extreme Pain

If you can at all avoid it try not to have a biopsy of your parotid glands with a needle of any type. This morning I awoke to a bright and early needle biopsy of what they said were "too many to count" enlarged lymph nodes and tumors from my eyes to my collar bones. This is more than double since my last MRI in August and they are growing fast. I told you a few of my options as to the problem before but I will try and clarify today...I am having a hard time chatting but typing should be easier than talking to people.

Anyway, since this is in such a sensitive place they can only numb you to a certain degree because they could harm your facial motor nerve and become paralyzed...fun for a girl my age to think about since in most cases it is not reversible. The needle was huge, about five or six inches long, not including the syringe that was attached to suck up some cells and tissue. Since the surgeon recommends I come back for another biopsy where they will cut open my neck and take actual lymph nodes for a better look and diagnosis (due to the rapid growth and wide spread pattern). Anyway, he decided to do the two hardest...one near my ear but only accessible through the bottom of my jaw and another under my tongue toward the back of my mouth. A nice cold bath of water and antiseptic were a good waker upper - not that I needed it as I was shaking with fear. I think the pituitary surgery was easier, probably because I got to sleep through that one. It was then followed by the ultrasound radiologist and the doctor squeezing my face as though it had the world's biggest zit so that they could get a good picture because of the depth of the masses. Shortly after it was followed by a stab with a numbing med, yeah right it burnt like hell! Then a larger second needle with the capability of sucking your body through it was stuck in the same place to the depth of the mass where it was stabbed repeatedly as it scrapped and sucked the mass to get a tissue and fluid sample. It was worse than any test I have ever had. Oh, I forgot, this morning i had to sit in a room full of chemo patients as I was injected with medication to help me not bleed and to observe my "operational area" more clearly. It was not a pleasant thought to think that this room may become part of my routine if any of the potential diseases are truly alive in my body.

My face is currently swelling up and my ear hurts since one of the needles went almost to the ear canal and surrounding cavity since the mass has wrapped itself around it. The other one went to the back of my mouth from the front of my jaw and I can feel swelling on the outside and inside my throat...making it hard to swallow and bite. I was not able to even try to eat a bean burrito for lunch and am hoping to have better luck with my dinner. It may end up being a protein shake, you know the kind for old people so we get our nutrients, not the kind you drink for muscles...lol.

Anyway, as a closing to my review of the biopsy, DON'T DO IT! Well, if you have to do it, try to stay as far away as possible. So in finally the surgeon said that he could not be certain whether I had the big C word - this time cancer not Cushing's - and tat I would need to have my neck cut open to get a better study done but this would help them focus that test. The news is also that I have either one of the following, lymphoma of some sort, a very serious infection that is impacting my entire body and is non-responsive to antibiotics so treatment is unknown, or finally the happy news that I have a rare genetic disorder that causes your lymph system usually used to heal and cure your body) to attack itself and to hold on to every germ I walk into. Once again no cure just ope for management. I am hoping they are wrong but I do know better and that something is wrong since my body is reacting and exhausted.

So I guess the news is no news for a couple of more days, I was put on rush due to the rapid growth and quantity. Fingers crossed and all powers that be are being called to work on this because I honestly don't know what to think when all your options are as random as a "toss of the dice" and life long. I wonder when I will ever have a normal 33 year old problem? Maybe when I turn 34? More when I know it.