A Return to Normal...?

Well this week I got another sign that I was getting better...I got my period with cramps and migraines! I kow that this is a good sign and something I have been hoping for but holy cow - after 20 months of no period this is hell. It is like 20 months of missed ones in one. :-) But hey it's just one and I have to have a few more to prove that part of my body is working again.

One part at a time and one day I'll be fully up and running...maybe this doc actually knows what she is doing...it's just a shame I still had to fight with people in my life to understand and get it. It was a hard enough struggle on just a physical and mental level for myself. There is nothing I can do to help them and I have come to a point where it is their fault for not trying to trust my docs and their own family.

I have learned through this ordeal that I can't change their minds and I no longer need to try because the only person it hurts is me. Someone wrote a comment and mentioned me being depressed and actually since I have come to terms that my family and certain friends will never change has lifted a huge load off of my back. It has allowed me to be me and to be happy. I haven't been this happy in years. I have a wonderful support system including a great man who I know will be there even when life gets rough. I am getting my life back and have the opportunity to make it better than before by choosing my own path and not worrying about others expectations of me.

I don't know who felt free to call me "Dulc" and tell me I was depressed but they obviously hadn't spoken with me. They chose to read this not as me being a fighter and survivor but as a depressed person. I don't think many people in my life would say I was ever at such a point even when all this happened to me...I may have lost my spirit for a day or two but if they went through this I am sure they would not have had the strength and spirit I maintained throughout. I do not wish them ill, I only wish they understood me as much as they think they do and hope they never have to go through something so horrible and fight to get people to love you...it wasn't a matter of understanding my illness it was a matter of people not trusting and loving me along the way unconditionally. People that should have...but as I have said, I have learned more about myself through this and do everyday and am at one of the happiest times in my life now that I have learned a few lessons.

So no more comments on people who haven't supported me as I am past that now and moving forward with my life without them...their actions can be judged and debted by someone higher than me.

Each day I have been doing some of my own energy healing since I visited "my friend" and feel wonderful and strong. My strength is coming along and one day soon I will be fully recovered - even if it takes a few more months I am willing to do the time and remain positive.

I have several doctors appointments coming up so I am sure there will be more news soon...