Horoscope = Stress Relief

I don't really believe my horoscope everyday but some days I do feel it might be telling me to do something. Todays said that I should write if I have ever felt the "right" to and if I have ever really wanted to write seriously. I haven't been writing much here lately because I found out some information over the holidays that pertain to my family and they’re sending my blog to various "doctors" to have me checked out.

Besides it is my one outlet that doesn't hurt anyone and lets me get out my stress. It helps me to say whatever I feel like and know that I am not taking it out on anyone; part of the reason I don't use names on my site. I have missed being able to yell and scream and get out all my pain and anger on this site and while some see it as depressing or angry it helps me to deal with all that is happening to me. A 17 month fight is not something anyone can just walk through unscathed emotionally or physically and my disease happens to do both.

When you have little exercise and other things to do to let stress out it hurts to have someone try and take it away from you with threats. I also do meditation and have tried to do some painting but that makes a huge mess and I don’t have that much energy to do it all the time – the cleaning up is the worst part and now that my second bedroom has become just that with a roommate I don’t have an office/studio space where I can leave it all out and do it as I please. I love to paint and do other arts and crafts. I was serious about making blankets but the email I sent to my friends wasn’t taken very seriously – I sent it out so I could make some extra money to help pay for my treatments. They think because I made money that after more than a year without a paycheck I should be able to live like I did before. My job does not give me disability so all I receive is Social Security Disability. I’m allowed to make close to 1k in outside funds but I can’t work outside my home so I thought making blankets would be an easy way for me to earn cash at my pace and as something that I am physically allowed to do. If you’re interested in learning about my blankets just ask and I can email you the information.

I can no longer cook to relieve stress (I used to prepare chef meals for fun) but these days I can’t remember that I am cooking much less remember to take my medication. So really this page represents a place for me to vent without hurting people and to help me relieve my stress. It isn’t always going to be positive and most often not, but it does help get things off my chest.

So look forward to more writing from me and hopefully some more funny ones since I will not allow anyone to take my writing/stress relief away from me. And, while my writing here may not be perfect it’s not meant to be; it is meant to be a journal that I can refer to about my various medical treatments and life as well as stress relief.