Let's Get Physical

So today was my first visit to physical therapy. My therapist is the same one I had after a car accident just before all this started. She said the reason she recognized me was because I still have the same smile and eyes; and to think it was just last summer when we met.

Being a "former" physically active person I was hoping to dive right into the hard stuff to get my body back but I have to go slow. Right now I'm only allowed four stretches and as much walking as I can tolerate. I told her that sometimes I am so eager to get better and push myself so hard that I forget I have to turn around and make it back home. Kinda funny! She wants me to come more than once a week but it's not in the cards (credit cards). So I promised to do my exercises everyday and do my best in between visits.

I have to say it felt good to know that someone is willing to help me get back to normal. It is going to be very hard and a long road but we can do it. I just have to be patient - yeah right! I'm not a patient person when it comes to this. Granted I am more patient than before all of this happened but no where near what I really need to be.

I'm upping my steroids again. I spoke with a couple of people today who are former patients and who have doctors who actually know what they are doing and they informed me that I'm borderline adrenal insufficient at all times right now because my drugs are too low. So for the next couple of days I'm going to try to go back to where I felt better on them at least until I get a new doc. I'd hate to go into the hospital right now.

Maybe the physical therapy will help me get back some of appreciation for my body. All of this weight gain and disease has really set me back as far as my physical image is concerned. Perhaps by trying to make it strong again I can learn to appreciate what I have. It is very hard when people from my past see me and know that I don't look the same. It serves as a reminder to me how much I have changed because of this illness. I know eventually I will get back the life I had before but the reminders when I see people make that road seem daunting. Thinking about how hard daily tasks are difficult and hopefully this will give me more strength so I don't feel so weak. It is not good for your emotional health to feel so weak and not be able to care for yourself as you once did.

But for now I will stick with a little physical therapy and see what tomorrow brings.