Another Day

Today's another day of testing and I have been fasting all night...I am so hungry.

Last week I went for my pre-op blood tests and hip x-rays since that's the side that often is hard to walk on. I should hear those results more quickly but I think the doctor went on vacation which is fine since these tests won't be back for two weeks. Then I'll find out if there is more waiting or if we move ahead with surgery. Last week my poor arm was stabbed to death. I had the IV of my clotting factor for my bleeding time test to make sure they can make me stop clotting for surgery. So my hand is all bruised. She had to beat the crap out of it to get a vein to get large enough to poke. I think it took 15 minutes of slapping and then she got it on the first try. I had an allergic reaction to that so they had to give me an IV of Benedryl. Then I walked across the street to the hospital and they did the bleeding test. It still took 10 minutes with the clotting factor so I feel they may need to up the factor some more. I also pointed out some blood coming out of my skin on my legs so the hematologist added another blood test. I should point out that the average human clots within four minutes. The cut they make is about half an inch wide by half an inch deep - ouch! So after I bled I still felt a bit ill and light headed so they waited a few minutes to take my blood for the regular tests. Only six vials that time. Then I hobbled downstairs to the radiology area and had the x-ray of my right hip and femur to check them out for problems.

The hospital was horrible...everyone kept giving me all this pitiful support but really I just wanted people to treat me somewhat normal and stop asking if I was scared...um, duh, of course I'm scared. They plan on cutting out the smartest gland in my body through my nose and told me they will also take another cut by my abs so they can replace the gland with fat so my brain doesn't cave in! Plus at the hematologist office during the IV I was sitting with all these cancer patients who kept looking at me sadly because I was the youngest in the room. I didn't have the energy to tell them what was wrong so I let them think cancer...I wasn't sure which was better, cancer or a thing in my head which makes my body attack itself! So I left it alone and to their imaginations.

So today I am drinking that horrible barium drink that tastes like milk of magnesia with rotted grapefruits for a chest, ab, and pelvic CAT scan. I guess they want to see what other damage has been done by this disease and if there are other tumors. Oh what fun, about an hour of beeping and clicking! But before that I have to go upstairs for another round of blood work, only eight vials today. Then I can have some juice before the hour long tube...so actually I won't eat until about 1 or 2 today. I am going to be a crabby girl.

I've gained five more pounds in the past week or so. Perhaps that means all my levels will come back abnormal so I can get surgery instead of more waiting and retesting! Who would think one would be so excited for surgery. But hey, Ican look forward to a bikini body fairly quickly all without starving myself once I'm fixed. I may also need radiation after the surgery so I think that would add to the weight loss.

So anyway, off to the tests and then the waiting for two weeks after. But I'm tough and I can make it if this is the last round...spirits are up...unless they tell me more waiting at the end of these two weeks then you may need to be put on suicide watch! I told the neurosurgeon last week that if he thought I could live my life like this he was insane and that it was no life for me...I think I scared him.

Well I'll write more frequently this week. Happy Monday!