Me & Charlie Brown...

Ahhhh! I guess I should come to expect this. Anything that can and will go wrong will when it comes to me and getting a final diagnosis. Everyday I feel more and more like Charlie Brown trying to kick the damn football and having it ripped out from under me. And today is jus another one of those days.

Growing more impatient I decided to call the endocrinologist yet again, you know the “good” one that had originally confirmed this thing in my head needs to come out. Well as luck would have it she has left for vacation and won’t return until Monday. So much for next steps and getting some resolution! I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to feel right now and feel kinda numb at the thought of waiting some more. They might as well put a gun to my head and make this all easier. At least she could have called and said we didn’t see what we wanted and you need to come off the rest of the drugs. No chance. And not with my luck. At least then I could have had another mile marker to make it to.

But once again I’m in limbo. I’m trying to decide if I need yet another doctor or should wait it out. What do I do at this rate? Next thing you know my disability will be declined because of all this waiting…and frankly I can’t afford to wait any longer. So then what, I go back to work and get fired because I can’t work a full day and can’t perform my daily duties. Anyway, they’ll probably fire me anyway since they have already told me to not work from home or part-time and haven’t been supplying me paper work to properly file my disability. Yet again, more delays and growing frustration to add to the list. I called my accountant and it’s not good there since I can’t file for my tax refund without the paper work either.

I called NY State today about my disability payments and it turns out I may have to wait another 8 more weeks for any sort of resolution…more issues due to a lack of paper work.

I feel like I’m suffocating over here each day trying to do the right thing and get things done and removed from my check list but each day the list grows. I can’t seem to crawl out from under this pile of frustration.

Damn Lucy for stealing the football…one day I’ll get her! I refuse to be a Charlie Brown!