Everyday Thanksgiving

It coming to my favorite holiday and my favorite time of year...Thanksgiving and all the holidays that follow. I think it's a good time of year to remember how much people mean to us - both as a reminder to ourselves as well as to those around us. Maybe I am just in a sappy mood swing because of my Cushing's or maybe it is because all the people around me this past year have been so wonderful....whether they understand what is happening or not. And let's be honest - some have not...not I forgive you - I know how hard it is to support something you don't understand.

Last night I was watching TV, as my usual habit when I can't sleep, and had to call someone near to me and tell them how much I can't wait to share my favorite time of year. I can't wait to share it with all of you who have held my hand through this and those of you who don't even know me but send me emails of encouragement.

Anyway, this past year has been the hardest in my life. And yes my family has had its share of bad luck with my mother's brain tumor and my grandmother's cancer and numerous other deaths and horrible occurrences; so for me to say this, may be difficult for some of you to understand. The reason it's the most difficult is because with all the other people in my life I could send a card or call to tell them I love them and even take time out of my life to take care of them during their time of need. I could do something and help. It is much harder to do something for yourself. You look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you will make it through all of this and swear you will change the world if you do...and I plan on doing something but I'm not sure I'll save the world. Some have already said I have done something great just by being so public about my disease. Some say I have helped others to understand a horrible disease and what happens to the person going through things and others just take a step back and are thankful for their health. it is true, if you don't have health you don't have much.

So everyday I try to help myself. Whether it is taking my meds or going for a walk. No matter how hard it is I try to do something everyday. I have even forgiven those who I held so much anger and hatred for many years. I guess that helps us both. And probably for the first time in my life I know who I really am by letting go and grabbing at things that are very important to me. That's harder said than done - let me tell you. And I have my days where i slip but then I remind myself I have larger problems than being angry. Even my doctors and pharmacists have noticed my change in attitude since this all began.

I "pray" everyday that I get my surgery but also for those like me who need it just as much. And I'm thankful for the friends that I have kept and for the new ones I have made, and those from the past who have been there in my time of need. Even those who I have never met in person and only through my site.

Today I decided to say thanks for something everyday until Thanksgiving...and today I am thanking all of my friends for your little emails, cards, prayers, and everything else you have given me. I couldn't help myself without the help of you, my friends.

So thanks today for my friends!