A Week Post-Op

Hello all,

I'm going to make this short since it is very hard for me to type and to look at the screen of my computer without getting all dizzy and "heady" feeling. Actually just thinking about typing this makes my head spin in circles.

Well surgery went well and wasn't really the hard part. The hard part is leting my brain regain its equilibruim so that I stop spinning. I have horrible headaches that I can't even explain. They are kinda like a migraine, sinus and tension headache all in one and little helps. I've been using the pain killers they gave me as well as ice and darkness and other coping tactics but it still lingers after all that until it's time to take the meds again. I have to sleep sitting up which is interesting because I have to keep catching myself from rolling over or slipping down.

I went to the store for a short walk the other day, what a mistake. Everything is so overwhelming and I get confused. My depth perception and reaction time seems off and I got a little freaked by people coming towards me. I think I'll lay low for the next couple of weeks till my head is back in order. I really can't explain how and why I feel off-kilter but maybe you can tell from my writing...I'm all over the place and feel like I spent too many hours on the rollercoasters.

So anyway, they took the tumor and I have to wait for the pathology reports to see what it is...like what hormones it may have produced or if it is cancerous at all. It could just have been living there and causing my gland to malfunction. The surgeon said in order to preserve as much of my quality of life as possible we typically take the tumor and hope that works but most of the time people like me will require a second surgery. Almost 75 percent of the time I think. But they would rather do it twice if they can preserve some normalcy fopr me. Not that taking pills forever is exactly normal but maybe i can keep my career or keep working out or somthing..the more tumor and gland they remove the more delicate ,my life becomes even 20 years from now since I won't be able to protect myself from "stress" and no we aren't talking about having a bad day...we are talking about exercise, work habits (hours and commutes), complete lifestyle things most of us take advantage of. So we wait a couple of weeks for the swelling in my head to go down and test me again...then we go for another brain surgery...no biggie, I've done it once right. Besides I'm not too worried about it.

Overall, except for the headaches and fatigue I feel pretty good. My body pain is gone but that could be because I just take it extra easy these days. But my Cushie feelings are much less then when I went into surgery so I hope that's a good sign. That and I can finally sleep. It's the waking up part that is hard now.

Well I can't remember what else I wanted to tell you all...that happens to me all the time right now...my friends come for visits and I don't remember them being here or what we talked about...just bits and pieces which is a little frustrating and I feel horrible about it but I think that improves as the swelling in my head goes down.

Oh, it's funny, everyone says I look good. But hey they picked my nose and all the bruising and damage that ytouy would see on the outside is on the inside. So just because you can't see the bruises and the swelling doesn't make it not there...believe me I can feel it everytime I turn my head I feel my brain swish inside and what feels like bang against my skull until it all gets balanced again. Oh and no sneezing, picking or blowing my nose cuz we'd hate to have the glue come undone and my brain to leak out...this can actually happen! Oh, and I still have some complications that I need to keep an eye on...low sodium and potassium from peeing too much and we don't know if it is long-term or not...we just have to wait and see...but hey, we have waited this long right?

Okay, head feels as though it is about to pop off so i['m gonna rest....I'll write you more weird stuff later as I remember it. I wanted to write a little today so I can remember how I feel when this is all over cuz I'm sure I won't remember what I just told you in the next few hours...toodles!