Ahhhhhh....

...That's exactly how I feel right now. I wish I could just scream and it would all go away. I had to go buy a fat dress today for a birthday party on Saturday. And even though I have been living in this body for a few months now I still hate it. No woman of 31 years old should have a body like this! Unless you're pregnant of course. That and my skin hurts and my hair is still falling out. But don't worry that didn't stop me from being my typical Dulcie-self and getting it cut and colored a new shade so I look human during the recovery process. I'll just stick out my hair and well pedicured feet so no one will know how ugly I am underneath. That's how I feel right now - Ugly! I wish I was my old self and some days it's hard to believe it will ever be back. I hate this one! My skin is broken out and so thin that I get abrasion marks from my clothes.

I'm going to call the endo later to see if the rest of my tests are in so we can get this thing moving. I'm hoping to have the chest/back surgery next week. I hope they don't have to do the big cut around my waist and make me look any uglier. The surgeon promised me my svelt body back by summer - he should get going! And even though I'll be recovering in a very achy body at least I'll have clothes that fit me and will probably be big since I'll shrink back to my size 6. God, I'm almost double my old size now.

UGH! Can't they please hurry! Why is it the last mile of any race always seems the longest? I certainly feel like Charlie Brown and that damn football again - what was I thinking of course they wouldn't actually hold their promise to do surgery this week.

Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!