The Tortoise and The Hare

The past few hours of my life have seemed a never ending race like that of a childhood tale, The Tortoise and The Hare. However, in my story there will be no winner since the clock defeats us both.

The cortisol has driven my body all night as I lie awake waiting for the minutes to pass by until the doctors appointment at precisely 11:15 this morning. Or at least I hope she runs on time.

I feel like hours have gone by when only a couple of minutes have passed according to the clock. I once again feel like that tortured child on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come and for my parents to allow me to drag them out of bed. I'm sure they remember me, being the bold child, creeping down the hall to their room every half hour and sometimes every 15 minutes to check and see if we could get up NOW?

Last night I tried everything. I tried the iPod, removing clocks, meditation, sleeping upside down in my bed (a trick I used when I was little), a little TV, some darkness, my cat, and a number of other things. I was up so long I had to eat again since I grew extremely hungry after eating dinner at 6 pm. I guess that happens at 3 am.

This morning is more of the same. As minutes slowly tick by the cortisol has taken control and I sit here typing words faster than lightening and I can't even type fast enough to keep my thoughts straight. They are random and scattered - good thing for my editor!

The other thing is the pain. I can't decide if the pain keeps you awake to realize it or if you realize it because you are awake. And who would have the pain, the tortoise or the hare? The tortoise maybe because he lives the longest and looks all old and wrinkly or the hare from running around acting like a lunatic...maybe both...and since I feel like both does that make me similar to a jackalope except I'd be a tortoihare?

Okay, I'm going to go now before I get any more whacky ideas...I'll wait in the privacy of my home for the doc appointment...