Drug Withdrawal Begins

So as you can see it's 2:20 in the morning and here I am once again, not sleeping. I woke up feeling a sick to my stomach and a little dizzy. UGH! Drug withdrawal already? I guess it can be true. I have been sitting here for the past hour doing some research and the internet doctor has indicated that it is very possible when one has been taking very strong drugs.

The Topamax my neurologist put me on for my migraines is nasty stuff...no wonder the endo asked me why he would put me on that as a quick fix for my headaches. I noted he thought the cortisol would be causing my headaches and that I would need to see an endo to resolve that issue. So basically all he did was screw up my blood work and put me in this situation where I have to go through drug withdrawal to get this thing taken care of. So much for the band-aid!

The Topamax also explains the itchy, burning eyes I have been having...a very bad sign. Thank goodness I am coming off it as I would hate to ruin the LASIK I just had done in September. Apparently you get withdrawal immediately and I can look forward to a day of headaches, seizures and hanging myself off the side of the toilet. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I did some reading and Topamax is supposed to help with severe pain. What a crock of bull poop! It's supposed to help with pain similar to drugs like percocet and other happy pills. It didn't even touch my pain. I guess that helps you understand my pain level.

Anyway, the cortisol continues to make me crazy! So, even with my doctor's reassurance that I have an ACTH-producing tumor (the one on my pituitary); I still feel like I'm going to wake up and have this be a bad dream. (Note: Bad dream meaning no resolution to how I am feeling and no conclusion to this story) I guess that's the risk of putting yourself out there or here. Even after she told me she thinks my tumor will have to come out I still am driving myself crazy - or the cortisol is! While I know I truly am sick the damn cortisol makes you believe some weird stuff or not believe as the case may be. Besides, even the doc thought the pics of me said more than anything else and she just kept looking at me physically saying that there was something obviously wrong here...not sure that made me feel all warm and fuzzy but at least it made me feel sane. This cortisol is one very cruel drug! It's the bully on the mental playground of hell!

You must think I'm nuts to believe all this but I just want you to see what this disease and cortisol thing does to a person. Mind you, I'm a well-educated person who has worked in the healthcare field for more than 10 years now. I know the industry and sometimes read medical journals for fun so can you imagine the thoughts I would have if I was someone outside the system?