Thanks for Your Support and Love

From the moment I broke that glass I felt a change begin - a determination to be more true to myself and not do things that are not Dulcie. That, and, to help others with Cushing's experience the cathartic release I had the moment I shattered all that was preventing me from being the person I am.

It’s funny the feelings I have now and the impact one little 30 minute show can have on both the person involved and the people that watch. I have received numerous emails and phone calls from those of you who watched and cried and applauded my segment. I have to say I am taken aback by the number of people who have reached out to tell me how much I have touched their lives.

One friend of mine is taking my photos with her to surgery in a couple of weeks as an inspiration and reminder. One person was giving up on ever getting treated and is no renewing her fight. Others just say that they really felt what happened to me and love me and have found some new meaning in their own lives. Some people were not eve sick or had no problems and told me I changed them. I can not tell you how overwhelming it is to get all those calls and emails; it’s a very emotional experience for people to reach out. Most of them I had not heard from in years and others I have never even met. It truly is amazing and I still can not believe it.

So now I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their support and love – even those of you who live far away and I have never met – your emails and calls have meant the world to me! More than words can say…but I guess thanks will have to do as the fight goes on…

Cover Shot - Seven Months Post-Cushing's

The moment I hit that glass, I broke into tears and said screw Cushing's! Literally! It was the most cathartic event since I have had this disease and I wish I could still do it everyday - great anger management!

Skin Deep

It is sad that many people walk through life experiencing life at level that is only skin deep. I have had the fortune to learn more about my life and my spirit than most people could ever wish for and I find that sad.

Today, I was chatting with a friend about my experience with the TLC show and how it was not really about me but about others. She happened to say something about the “look” of the photo – I didn’t tell her. But, then I realized most people will only see a photo and not who I am because they walk through life at a level which only reaches skin deep. The never dig deeper to see what makes things work and ask why things do and the being behind the skin.

During our chat it came to me that people who walk through life at this level never really learn about themselves and only see the flaws that lie on the surface. This is depressing and causes them to be unsatisfied with everything. I find it is those people who are never happy and who easily dislike and even hate others. Why, because they are caught up in lives that only look at the surface.

I find that sometimes when a person lives at this level they only experience life for through a photo that captures the surface – mine from the show captures me and who I am below the surface.

Yes, I would love to change some things about me physically but that photo not only showed who I am as a physical being but as a spirit. It captured my essence…there is no drug, or alteration that can be made to find that spirit…maybe a life crisis but I hope very few of you have to go through that to get deeper than the skin of life. The skin is just a covering for the beauty that lies beneath and no amount of makeup, drugs and surgery can fix that part of you. A mirror and a true look at yourself will help you find something more than the surface.

Perhaps more people should invest in mirrors and time spent with oneself since there is no cure or surgery that can fix our spiritual flaws and our hatred for ourselves and others. Only time, a mirror and a journey of yourself can take you on a trip that goes deeper than the surface…deeper than skin.

I hope when you look at yourself and others you will take that time to discover something more than just skin deep. I know life is more than what meets the eye, unfortunately I needed the wake up call of Cushing’s to do so but you don’t have too!

Inner Spirit

Soon the big reveal for TLC's Cover Shot is coming (I saw it today) and I have to say the picture was one that captured me and the title could not have been more “Dulcie.” It’s a very powerful moment when one not only knows who you are but gets to see it. Often we do not get to see in ourselves who we are besides the physical aspects that everyone can - eyes, hair, smiles, clothes, etc.

The thanks to the crew for capturing the essence of “Dulcie” to a degree that I am completely unable to communicate – although others would argue I am wrong when I say something along those lines. The team at Cover Shot could not have pulled out more of me and all that I have gone through in the past few years. They were amazed that every time I see the picture I have a very emotional and powerful reaction. I still cry thinking about what is that picture represents. I wish everyone could have a picture of themselves that reflected their inner-being as much as that one picture has done for me.

That one picture has reminded me at a time when things are getting rough again; of who I am and what I am capable of achieving in life. They are now examining my bones for osteonecrosis – bone death – and may need a full femur and hip replacement (I find out soon). This could lay me up in the house for another few months but is not something that will rob me of my brain, ability to work, and who I am. Just because I may not be able to walk for a few months does not mean I am not capable of living life and being ME!

I am still a smart, talented, and fighting spirit and I hope that people who are experiencing similar struggles can see and look within themselves to find their own spirit. We all have different things that drive us but the person I am now is so different from who I was before. She is who drives me, the new me.

So I hope when you watch the show on September 15^th at 10:30 p.m. ET you too can look and find your spirit. And when I watch that show, I am sure that I will rediscover the spirit that drives me and makes me the fighter I am and will continue to be no matter what life throws at me. It does not matter if I will have to work out of my house or anything else…who knows maybe I will not have this pending surgery but it sure as hell will not break me to the point of no return.

I hope you can take a look at yourself once, just once, sometime in your life and see the spirit that drives you…