Missing In Action

So you have probably noticed that I have been "Missing In Action" lately but I've been in the hospital for 11 days and just got out a few days ago. I had a serious sodium imbalance and had to stay for a few days while they figured me out and tried to fix me. I'm not fixed yet but at least I am home. They put me on more meds so I can hold my urine in...I was peeing a few gallons a day. The average person only does about a liter and a half. Talk about a lot of fluid!

Anyway, I'll write more later when I feel a bit better tomorrow.

Oh My Aching Head

Well all is well after surgery except these damn headaches which are quite common. Even my Percocet and Relpax pain meds don't touch them. I guess this is normal. I saw the neurosurgeon today and have to have another CAT Scan of my head to see if they left air in there since my headaches are so bad and my vision gets a bit funny at times. That's Thursday. I basically have a doctor appointment every day this week and more of the same next week.

So anyway, they just keep telling me to take my pain meds...the girl I shared with my final night in the hospital would have loved a prescription like that...she was a bit scary and had OD'd in an attempt to kill herself cuz her boyfriend dumped her. She was a pain in the butt and I wish they would have left me in the ICU...looking back the docs agree since I had one of my major headaches while in the room and wasn't treated very promptly for it. They were more than 3 hours late with my evening meds...gee, and they wonder why we get sick in hospitals. So the girl in the next bed was probably 20 or 21 and would punch herself and start whining everytime someone walked in the room in a cheap attempt to get more drugs, sleeping pills and pain meds were her main request. Then she wanted the air conditioning turned off and that's when I got angry because I had tried to be nice and offer her some of my juice I stole from the kitchen...I had to serve myself cuz the nurses would ignore you. So I said I'm not allowed in hot, dry environments because we can dry up and ruin the seal that now leads to my brain from my nose and unless she and the nurse wanted a lawsuit the size of Texas I suggested they leave it on...I got no arguements. Then the guy next door was jumped on at about 3 am so they could get his heart started...they probably forgot his meds too. I'm not sure if he made it since they were in there a very long time and I kept hearing the time yelled out. I felt like I was in an episode of ER.

Oh and the hospital decided I would be a good patient to tech how to change the tubing on your "A" line (a tube they put in your artery to draw blood when you stay in the hospital and have to have it taken more than once every couple of hours). I guess because they called me the favorite patient they thought I wouldn't kill my student nurse. She will a little slow so I shot blood all over myself and my bedding and it hurt like hell. Supposedly it's not that hard. But it wasn't the first time they screwed this up on me, a couple of days before they shot my blood acroos the room in th middle of the night because the nurse failed to hook up the tube for blood colection correctly to my "A" line. And yes, when you have that much blood squirt out it is very hot and sticky. I always thought it was a TV thing. But they complimented me for not passing out and being able to watch the whole event. I watched mainly because it was so painful and I wanted to know exactly what they were screwing up. They wanted to change my IV line as well but after that I told them I needed to rest and the next nurse could do that. She did a much better job.

Okay, my head is starting to swirl again so I'll have me editor proof this and I'll let you know if I am a true "air head" later this week once we get my scan back...

A Week Post-Op

Hello all,

I'm going to make this short since it is very hard for me to type and to look at the screen of my computer without getting all dizzy and "heady" feeling. Actually just thinking about typing this makes my head spin in circles.

Well surgery went well and wasn't really the hard part. The hard part is leting my brain regain its equilibruim so that I stop spinning. I have horrible headaches that I can't even explain. They are kinda like a migraine, sinus and tension headache all in one and little helps. I've been using the pain killers they gave me as well as ice and darkness and other coping tactics but it still lingers after all that until it's time to take the meds again. I have to sleep sitting up which is interesting because I have to keep catching myself from rolling over or slipping down.

I went to the store for a short walk the other day, what a mistake. Everything is so overwhelming and I get confused. My depth perception and reaction time seems off and I got a little freaked by people coming towards me. I think I'll lay low for the next couple of weeks till my head is back in order. I really can't explain how and why I feel off-kilter but maybe you can tell from my writing...I'm all over the place and feel like I spent too many hours on the rollercoasters.

So anyway, they took the tumor and I have to wait for the pathology reports to see what it is...like what hormones it may have produced or if it is cancerous at all. It could just have been living there and causing my gland to malfunction. The surgeon said in order to preserve as much of my quality of life as possible we typically take the tumor and hope that works but most of the time people like me will require a second surgery. Almost 75 percent of the time I think. But they would rather do it twice if they can preserve some normalcy fopr me. Not that taking pills forever is exactly normal but maybe i can keep my career or keep working out or somthing..the more tumor and gland they remove the more delicate ,my life becomes even 20 years from now since I won't be able to protect myself from "stress" and no we aren't talking about having a bad day...we are talking about exercise, work habits (hours and commutes), complete lifestyle things most of us take advantage of. So we wait a couple of weeks for the swelling in my head to go down and test me again...then we go for another brain surgery...no biggie, I've done it once right. Besides I'm not too worried about it.

Overall, except for the headaches and fatigue I feel pretty good. My body pain is gone but that could be because I just take it extra easy these days. But my Cushie feelings are much less then when I went into surgery so I hope that's a good sign. That and I can finally sleep. It's the waking up part that is hard now.

Well I can't remember what else I wanted to tell you all...that happens to me all the time right now...my friends come for visits and I don't remember them being here or what we talked about...just bits and pieces which is a little frustrating and I feel horrible about it but I think that improves as the swelling in my head goes down.

Oh, it's funny, everyone says I look good. But hey they picked my nose and all the bruising and damage that ytouy would see on the outside is on the inside. So just because you can't see the bruises and the swelling doesn't make it not there...believe me I can feel it everytime I turn my head I feel my brain swish inside and what feels like bang against my skull until it all gets balanced again. Oh and no sneezing, picking or blowing my nose cuz we'd hate to have the glue come undone and my brain to leak out...this can actually happen! Oh, and I still have some complications that I need to keep an eye on...low sodium and potassium from peeing too much and we don't know if it is long-term or not...we just have to wait and see...but hey, we have waited this long right?

Okay, head feels as though it is about to pop off so i['m gonna rest....I'll write you more weird stuff later as I remember it. I wanted to write a little today so I can remember how I feel when this is all over cuz I'm sure I won't remember what I just told you in the next few hours...toodles!